This is so great. I know I'm not as old as you but I know exactly how you feel. I'd do anything to make him smile even though he doesn't feel the same about me and it's tearing me down. I'm such an amateur and would love your critique on some of my poems, so if you ever find yourself with nothing to do feel free to check them out. Thank you.
9 years ago
Comments from judging:
This woman is full of short, meaningful love pieces that are so packed with meaning and emotion that it is absolutely astounding. Her imagery here made me smile, like a teenagers first love and the butterflies, hope and naivety you inevitable see (in the first stanza). Keeping with the theme I definitely am brought back to my childhood where there was this person I longed for and no matter what I did, I could not get their attention - this summed up my sophomore year in a much prettier way than the rugged emotions felt. After hearing Blissful from the readings I can always picture a softer, breathy tone while reading these poems. It adds depth, I believe, and is just beautiful.
I'm going to sound like a broken record, but here goes my repetition... I LOVE SMALL POEMS that say so much!!! WOW on this elegant love gem!!!!!! Sorry folks but I had to scream within this comment, that's how much I adore this poem-
Title: There is so much beauty within a smile and when I saw the title my heart melted- What a creative title- love it!!
First stanza: What a unique and creative first stanza!! I actually visualized two balloons raising a person's smile and how the author ending this stanza "filled with my love" <----- so elegant, mixed with loving and creative flare- beautiful!!
Second stanza- My heart broke- The love of a person and to what lengths they go too is heart gripping... The author took twelve words and designed an explosive ending...How the person longs to see the one she loves smile and in the end, losing hers as well...sighs...... touching piece-
I can't say enough about this poem, and again when you read the poem, the title is so perfect.... This poem is sad, unique, and beautiful... a wonderful read, and one I will read many times in the future.. defiantly one of my favorite poems to date! Well done Blissful