Slipping back into the darkness

I feel my self slipping, back into the darkness of my mind
A place where my dreams were once crushed, a place old in time.
The cloud that's there suffocates me, leaving the words stammering out,
I know i'll survive, of that I have no doubt.
The fear I face is tremendous though, of what future scars I might retain,
Because although it's not physical, from this place I bare so much mental pain.
Silence screams are muffled by society, pleads of mercy ignored by all,
This is where I hit rock bottom, this is where I felt my first fall.
The blood dripped onto the floor here, like a faucet of red from my wrist,
Although I was breathing, I don't remember what it felt like to exist.
A smile was a rare thing, by rare I mean none occurring,
deep within the depths of my mind, something sinister was stirring.
God can't reach me here, although I see his hand trying,
but my soul has given in, for Lucifer succeeded in lying.
Those words of venom fly off my tongue, causing stings of pain to those I care for,
I'd try to hold it back, but self-control doesn't exist anymore.
I'll make it out of this personal hell again, that i'm certain of,
But just how much pain will I cause to those I love?
I'm back to square one, in the darkest place I know,
where the sunshine is but a dim flame, and happiness is nothing but a show.
Can't say when i'll be me again, because I don't know for sure,
for how I escaped last time is nothing but a blur.
Here I am if you can see me, i'm barely a dot in this dark place,
you may not hear my words, but please just read my face.©

- D.Madden