Hello

by PETER EDWARDS   May 28, 2012


Hello?....just thought I'd phone....
was feeling sad....a little, alone....
You and me?....been some time....
since I could say....that you were mine....
How is 'he?'....things are well?....
you're happy now?....I can tell....
Please promise me....you'll let me know....
that if you move....or ever go....
'Cos perhaps one day....once more again....
you will be free....of all your pain....
Then you might think....'love thoughts' of me....
and want me back....'how used to be'....
Then one more time....we'll 'touch the sky'....
our 'Hearts will sing'....the tears we'll cry....
Angels will smile....our Souls reborn....
we'll every day....see in the dawn....
And maybe then....we'll take our stand....
forever more....hand in hand....

You've got to go?....ok that's fine....
please promise me....when you have time....
You'll talk to me....some words on phone....
to stop me feeling....so, so alone....
My Heart still aches....it wants you so....
just felt that you....that you should know....
It's funny how....thought you and me....
would be forever....would always 'be'....
I didn't think....that my best friend....
would want to see....of me the end....
So please, please, please....please do phone....
'cos I can't face....my life alone....
He's coming soon?....to take you home?....
'cos he wants you?....tonight alone?....
My God the pain....inside I'm numb....
to think of you....and he as 'one'....

Just one last thing....I want to say....
when you, you sent....sent me away....
You broke my Heart....on that last day....
Hello?...

3


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Latest Comments

  • 3 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    This is the most heart ripping piece I have come upon so far, and my, my heart is literally crumpled and my eyes are warm with some tears. Peter, okay, now I really believe romance is in your bones...It will take me hours to recover from this piece! Huhuhu. This is epic.

  • 3 years ago

    by Em

    Peter, I really shouldn't have read this right now lol it had me in bits. The pace, the stuttering of the lines, the pauses , the flow.. All just WOW!!

    Take care,
    Em

  • 8 years ago

    by Darren

    Great ending Peter, I liked how the stuttering pace worked for this and really set the tone.
    The layout is very brave.
    What you have done well is the rhyming (which we would expect from you) but more importantly you can almost hear a returning conversation.
    You can also feel the raw emotion, the disappointment in your voice as it almost stammers.
    Reading again What I actually liked best was the clever use of the question mark at the very start after 'hello'
    this really set the tone for the whole poem.
    Great Job.

  • 8 years ago

    by Janis

    Really great poem, rhyming so well and brings such a clear sad and lonely and so well known message, just really... love it! I wish you all the best and take care there and keep on writing since you are great at it!

  • 8 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    The dots were a distraction, but I understand you needed to make a format to make clear it is a conversation.

    Very sad tale, I dislike when people humiliate themselves by begging, maybe because it is something that I have done at times as well. It never worked, quite the opposite, actually;)

    Well done,

    5/5 Ingrid

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