Everlasting

I can barely watch you stand
without my heart aching
with a pain I've never felt before....

as I look at your IVs
transfusing blood into your veins
and how I worry about
the way your eyes wander.

I can't tell if much color
has left your face,
but they tell me,
those who walk the hospital halls,
that you are weaker
paler than before.

And I still cannot believe it.

Was it only nine months ago
when I got the news, and
my breaths became strained?

I now feel inaudible rips through my
heart, I even have to clutch
my sides, so unsure about how
to keep breathing,
keep talking to you as if life

goes on.

While I'm here in this stiff chair
I try not to notice how your eyes
linger on me-
remembering how you watched me grow
into a young woman, almost
touching the sky, so close,
[it just seems too hard to face]

I've read statistics,
researching the prognosis
all in the secret confines
of my room-
so no one will disrupt
the love I hold for you.

Of course, I knew
that you'd be ready,
deep down, I knew,
that you would not
accept any treatment.

And how I smile in my dreams
to know that you might be
one of the five percent
who outlive it all,
yet God has a way
of letting his sunset be
the unsatisfying end
to a lifetime.

But you're here now,
I'm with you,
and my eyes are threatening
to show tears,
but I'll be strong for you-
just like how you've shown me
that there is always hope,
even in the dim knowing
that life is not lasting.

I promise I'll live on to say
that love, love has always been
everlasting.

* Dedicated to someone dear in my heart, thanks for reading. 6/10/2012