If Only

I love it.
This was beautiful.
Keep up the good work.

If only I would have communicated more,
you wouldn't have had doubts -
you would have known you were perfect
in every single way.

^That is a great stanza. It expresses the heartbreak of regret and what would have been if the speaker had changed something. The things it would've changed, the doubts, the insecurity of the lover, are such sad spots, that it makes my stomach drop. It hits home for the girls reading this in the perspective of the speaker's significant other.

Again, I'm a fan! c:

This poem, clearly, has a lot of emotion in it. it portrays a lot of sadness, and it does so in a way that flows well enough, and is easy enough to read.

that said a couple of the metaphors were a little awkward. "siberian heart" with the part about melting an igloo with blow torch. the use of temperature as a metaphor for conflict and emotion in this way is interesting, and definitely food for thought but it shifts from being a tool in one passage to being an antagonist in the next, and siberian hearts and igloos and blowtorches seem almost too outlandish for a poem with a sad tone such as this.

lastly the poem focuses very heavily on "I" and "you" and never strays very far away from the narrator or the subject, without really defining the narrator or the subject. i think, over all, this poem could stand a little bit of revision and work, but shows great promise.

I absolutly loved this... I envy people with talent as beautiful as this

Hannah, this is one of your best , your creativity is in a league of its own , everything you write hits home with such raw power I have to say I read this about 5 times
And the ending line was the icing on the cake ,

You are unbelievable !!

Added to my favs