Suspended in Water

Comment from Round 1 of FOP contest:

I feel like you had a strong metaphor starting out, but near the end, it became ordinary and mundane. There was nothing exciting in the end and I almost feel a let down. I wish you would have alluded to more in the end to leave the reader hanging, or made an allusion to the water to tie in that metaphor, like that he is her anchor or something. I do like the flow and ease in which you write, with little punctuation so every lines molds to the next. I don't think there's a need for "she's feeling" when your prompt is to describe how love feels, it just adds space. Would have liked to see more along this process of falling in love, you mention how her mind feels clouded, keep going with that then, don't just drop describing what love means. I didn't get as much "texture" so to speak in this poem because it felt a bit incomplete.

Very sensual

This is great.. the feeling of love is wonderful. You penned it so well. 5/5