I really like this poem, it's magnificently apparently simple and I really enjoyed the sense of time that you have been able to create in spite of this simplicity. In this scenario the mere image of coffee as well as the one of 8 pm both contribute to give meaning to the waiting , and combining all of this with the different metaphors scattered throughout the poem was simply wonderful. Good job.
9 years ago
The only reason this poem didn't score higher for me was because I wasn't in love with the layout/structure. It was a bit choppy, and I think with the content of this poem, a little longer lines would give the poem a bit more flow and maybe not as much coffee-shop-reading emphasis. I do love how this poem completely ties together with it's theme and idea. The ending painted (haha) a beautiful picture and I really loved again, how it all came together. I felt like I was watching an old timey movie or maybe going through a series of photos. Touching, full of longing and sadness, this poem was beautiful!