8:00 PM

by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko   Nov 20, 2013


8:00 PM
only lives
to find
the poetry
that drinks
coffee within
long hours
of waiting
for you.

The imagination
of you
making time stop
and caging
fireflies inside
an azure glass jar
kept me away
from noticing
the Thistle
that holds
my reality.

8:00 PM
slowly became
addicted to
caffeine and
the aroma
of coffee
but not
with the
two teaspoons
of sugar
used to
sweeten the night.

And I
never believed
that your
text messages
could be
as dulcet
as nectar...
and that
the sound of
your footsteps
could be
as mellifluous
as your laughter.

This street
looked so strange
without the
sound of
your footsteps.

I anticipated...

8:00 PM
would be
the painter
that would
paint the sonnets
that could
make me
forget the
long hours
I waited
for you
and drank
the coffee.

    report violation
6


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Mortal Utopia

    I really loved the way you structured the poem - it definitely drew me in to all the amazing imagery and ideas within it. The way you expressed the sense of time, waiting and sadness is amazing!

  • 9 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    I really like this poem, it's magnificently apparently simple and I really enjoyed the sense of time that you have been able to create in spite of this simplicity. In this scenario the mere image of coffee as well as the one of 8 pm both contribute to give meaning to the waiting , and combining all of this with the different metaphors scattered throughout the poem was simply wonderful. Good job.

  • 9 years ago

    by Britt

    Judging comment:

    The only reason this poem didn't score higher for me was because I wasn't in love with the layout/structure. It was a bit choppy, and I think with the content of this poem, a little longer lines would give the poem a bit more flow and maybe not as much coffee-shop-reading emphasis. I do love how this poem completely ties together with it's theme and idea. The ending painted (haha) a beautiful picture and I really loved again, how it all came together. I felt like I was watching an old timey movie or maybe going through a series of photos. Touching, full of longing and sadness, this poem was beautiful!

  • 9 years ago

    by Saerelune

    A very interesting lay-out of words, I feel it reflects the mood of the persona (not sure if that's intentional or not). Well written and congrats on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by Saerelune

    A very interesting lay-out of words, I feel it adds to the mood of the persona. Well written and congrats on the win!

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