A Fairy Tales Ending

by ah satan 666   Sep 20, 2014

Holding back mud puddles in her eyes,
She looks up for answers, reasons...
But the sun abandons her plea.

{ Grey clouds roll in, setting a new tone }

Frosted chills kiss lips.
The anxious and inquisitive audience,
Left pending...
Whispers become chanting taunts.

{ Pastel painted petals seem to wilt, fade and die }

That sound...
Wasn't as anticipated.
Piercing the eardrums of silence,
Heads bow.

{ Church bells chimed to the rhythm of her dripping tears }

The white of innocent, purity...
Now transparent like a ghost,
For all to see.

{ Time halts like the compelled steed, chomping at the bit }

Her eyes remain locked on the creaky
wooden floor...
Her last shimmer of hope departs,
As mascara flows like spilt ink.

{ A corpse like figurine, invokes her grave }

Prince charming gave artificial life to her dreams,
As he entombed her happily ever after...

The End.


Baby Rainbow prompts...

"Fairy tales"

" jilted before oath "


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    Stunning imagery and emotion in this piece :-)

  • 7 years ago

    by JaneDoeWrites

    This reminded me somewhat, as I was reading through, of a theatre or a play. It has this enchantment about it that is very peculiar but brilliant. The breaks show set change to me, everything is presented neatly...

    { Time halts like the compelled steed, chomping at the bit }

    ^^ I absolutely adored this. This is one of the more unique metaphors I've seen in quite some time. Utterly original and impressive.

    The title and the ending to this piece is perfection! The twist in the fairytale seems to be a bit more realistic to me- things don't always go as planned, our prayers may not always be answered, and the "good" guys don't necessarily turn out to be so good. The use of Prince Charming here seems to be used more as a devilish charmer, a sweet talker, one with hidden motives.

    The only change I'd suggest is that "corpse like" be written as corpse-like. But that could just be me being picky haha.

    Fantastic write, dear!

  • 7 years ago

    by earlgreytea

    For some reason these lines really called out to me.

    "That sound...
    Wasn't as anticipated."

    This poem is going on my favorites list.

  • 7 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Such a sad opening that the hope is ignored, the desperate prayers are not answered and the sun doesn't seem to care.

    Loving your brackets, I forgot how much you used these, and how the writing within them holds so much power all on their own) It is like they can read a poem alone, without the rest of the words.

    Sad story, but I like how you gave the character an audience, when they are all watching her go through this, and so the reader is only an added audience too!

    Really good job, do not understand why you doubt your poetry so much!!!