Shadows of the Heart

by Jad   Oct 13, 2014


Scars etching stories onto the skin,
mocking such lies as "time mend".
Kissing the foreheads of our love,
witnessing the release of doves
that ascend to the skies
as though we give them our goodbye.
Only a pretentious lie
kept inside to cope and bide.

Fragile hearts shatter in despair,
collapsing as if too much to bear.
However, not all is given up,
only poisoned to be corrupt.
So lie in the paleness of winter
but never forsake what is known.
Therein lies a refuge, a home.

*Not my best work but a older poem I was wanting to share.

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  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Scars etching stories onto the skin,
    mocking such lies as "time mend".

    ^^This opening kept me thinking about it more and more and I could see a person with a blade; sketching
    scars and stories to forget...painful opening which grabs the reader's attention.

    Kissing the foreheads of our love,
    witnessing the release of doves
    that ascend to the skies
    as though we give them our goodbye.

    ^^This part here brought an image of a person lying in
    a coffin as we kiss their forehead saying goodbye. It
    can also be seen as a tender moment between 2 people
    who for the last time kiss and walk away from this bond.

    Fragile hearts shatter in despair,
    collapsing as if too much to bear.
    However, not all is given up,
    only poisoned to be corrupt.

    ^^You are right hearts that are fragile are easy to corrupt and poison; easy to take advantage of until the
    shattered heart realizes. Even then it can given in to hopelessness! A touching stanza this is...

    So lie in the paleness of winter
    but never forsake what is known.
    Therein lies a refuge, a home.

    ^^This ending leaves the reader with deep thoughts.
    Winter, a season that gives smile to all also holds a cold
    reality. For some winter is not only a season but their life as well!

    I feel for the writer this poem holds something deep so
    even though for some readers, they might not see a connection between the two stanzas, for the writer it has a story which only can be told as how he felt.

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    I've been reading this poem for a couple of times now, I can't figure out what exactly it is about. It's kind of mysterious. I mean, I kind of understand the same as the above comments but I feel that it may be about something else. I'll continue reading and I'll come back to write another comment once I figure out what I'm exactly interpreting from it.

  • 9 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    5/5.What a touching write Austin.
    Bidding goodbye to our loved one,who is no more .Does this also say about an unnatural death?

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Everyone thinks their worst work is terrible, that's what makes it good,and this is good. I believe feeling poems are more beautiful than metaphor, because a lot more people can relate to it. This poem reminds me of the saying "air kissing sand" because our hour glass runs out someday. This person is coping by pretend they are okay but in reality the scars on their write say differently. The doves are a beautiful symbol of peace of a loved one passed on. And it makes since to grieve in your depression, a lot of people do. Winter is a perfect word to use for feelings of cold or sadness, these hearts shatter so I think it could be a child and the parents are grieving. And the child is going home to heaven where there is no more pain and suffering. Excellent write, nominated! And 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    I love winter!!! back to the poem...hmm I loved the first stanza I know and I've lived the two lines seriously I have just because I am a sunny person doesn't mean that I didn't cut and I enjoyed the pain it helped keep the emotional pain away, beautiful beginning lines. I love how it's truthful and sometimes it flows well and other times not so much but it's still strong and also LOVE the last two lines of the poem it reallys says something winter can be taken as baren, lonely, depression, ect. and also a home can be anywhere where there is a heart, welcoming arms, and hope great write for an "old" poem Austin 5/5

    -Mori