god talk

Beautiful poem. I have added you to my poetry list.

I really love this. It was fantastic and gripping. No more words to describe it.

"If you are given a chance to be your own god, would you take it?"

Interesting rhetorical question, also intriguing the speaker doesn't explicitly answer it either. Just something I noted.

"Like, you could create yourself not out of dust, but out of steel.
Your bones could be gold,
and you could have a heart that no boy could ever break in the Summertime."

Trading flesh for metals, I'm not sure if it was intended but it conjured up thoughts of artificial intelligence & robots for me, and the possibility of a singularity. You might want to consider moving to Orwell to avoid having your heart broken, atleast that's what Ed Sheeran tells me. Sorry, off-topic. The thought of being physically and emotionally invulnerable sounds tempting and incredibly dull simultaneously, just doesn't seem the way to live life if you could only feel a subset of all the emotions there are.

"
(...)

Scene: A Funeral

My sister's arm is linked with mine.
I will the road to stretch out longer.

- End Scene -
"

I just really wanted to note that I love the line "I will the road to stretch out longer", it's incredibly powerful and is indicative of the speakers' character.

"Sometimes I find it easier to believe in karma than in a god.

At least, one that is good."

I think Karma is something that can be seen, whether instantly or eventually, but it probably comes down to the fact that bad people tend to attract said company and are more likely to have their actions done unto them in a similar manner, but it's still comforting to know that's

"If he exists, perhaps he's a weak one
for every night, we listen to the news say something about a war
raging next door.

Whoever said god wasn't a woman, anyway?"

That's true, I think most abrahmic religions have some form of verse that says "man was created in god's shape/form" and that was interpreted as man instead of human? I'm not too sure, but regardless it's a great thought.

"But that's enough god talk for today,
seeing as we both believe in God
only when good things happen.

We're good people like that, I suppose."

It's interesting to note that the speaker uses the occurrence of good things to reaffirm their faith, whereas a lot of people tend to use the occurrence of bad things to move away from their faith. Again shows a lot about the speaker's character, and moves away from the initial rhetorical question that was posed. By not explicitly answering it, the speaker's admitting to the fact that the answer may not be in black and white.

"
(...)

It's raining.
My roommate washes her clothes in the bathroom.

Some nights, I wish we'd never met.
But then again, I wouldn't have anything
to write about when the sky grieves.

It's raining.
My neighbour smokes a cigar in the next room.

(...) "

There's something noir about this, I immediately had a mini noir movie playing in my head, I think it's the slight stylistic shift in writing and how your framed the scene this time and how you build on top of that scene, it follows a similar progression to noir literature/movies. It's a nice break from the poem.

"There's a word at the tip of my pen.
It is the opposite of staying longer than one ought to."

I also really like this line.

"And so I write something about a girl
once upon a blue moon,
who talked about Winter as though it were a sunset
at the beach with your dog panting by your side,

looking up at you as though you were God."

I like this change in perspective, you answered the question posed earlier with a "you are, to certain people/animals".

Overall: I really like the use of imagery, and your word-choice. I like the style and flow of the poem as well. I've read this poem multiple times and each time I admire the subtle 'nonchalant' narrative more and more. The speaker for the most part is stating things, or asking questions. There's only really two parts where the speaker colors their speech (it's usually more fact-based as opposed to dressed in flowery langauge), when the speaker says "But then again, I wouldn't have anything /to write about when the sky grieves" and later, with the scene about the dog. They both contrast each other in feelings that balances the poem out, which is fitting because of the original topic of the poem and how the speaker seemingly has mixed feelings about God.

You really need to post more often. :)

Oh this is wonderful! From the the layout to the words, everything is penned so well. The way you described the scenes in short, and the question about god.. Very nicely done.

Welcome to the site.. what a wonderful piece. Well done