unworthy

sometimes i'm out of my own flesh.
it is when i get lost between my bed
and sofa. i don't know why it happens
but i suppose i have been pretty confused
about miracles and ashes.

it used to be easy to look at the face
of time without guilt but my dog died,
and i lost my beliefs when a thunder found me.
i was crossing the third bank 0f the river.

somebody told me to die while i'm alive.
i replied:" how many times do i have to die?"
there was no answer but i died in february and july
and i'm not sure if i can buy sanity after feeling insufficient
for quite a long time.
i'm empty of light.
my father must be ashamed of me
but all i can do is to tell him
to look into my black wound
with little mercy.

karla bardanza