Reapperances

No matter what you do
Mental illness is constant
and it never leaves.
You think you've
ripped its hands from
your throat,
but they're still there.
They hold on
and it seems like each blow
makes them grip tighter.
Just when you think
you're out of the dark,
the lights shut off
and you can't see.
You recover from
the state you were in,
but it never disappears.
You're still sick
even though it doesn't feel like it,
you still have it
dragging along with you.
It feeds when you're weakened
until it gathers enough energy
to knock you onto your back
when times aren't as easy as before.
Although you are strong
and you've fought this for years,
it always finds a way
to get back under your skin.
Mental illness
is relentless--
it doesn't give any breaks.
You have to force it
to leave you alone,
and sometimes it's hard to.
Sometimes you can't
and it tries to bring you back
to old habits.
It will do anything
to get the sustenance it needs,
even if it means killing you.
Your mental illness
may manifest itself
into your life again,
but you know the ropes now
and won't let it
get into your head.