"Real" News

by Hellon   Mar 18, 2018


The headlines today
told us all that Rob Kardashian
has lost weight

and...

after reading the numerous
comments and congratulations from his fans
I turned to page three
where a little corner
yes, a tiny little corner
told me about the refugees
that are starving
in this unfair world...

Rob has a daughter named Dream
can you imagine
what Dream will be dreaming about tonight...

It will not be the same dream as little
Ahmed had as bombs disrupt his sleep
once more and he wakens to another day of
uncertainty and a growling empty tummy...

*A work in progress...I'm hoping this will somehow become a slam poem :)

@Hellon 18th March 2018

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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Abed

    Judging comment:

    The approach of the poet in building up her idea is super smart. Hellon’s black sarcasm hits home in this piece. Her giving a relatively small stanza to Ahmed and his likes is a replica of the world’s shading his right of being in the headlines. Only a skilled writer can think of this methodology, and the poet here perfects it. My suggestions: omitting “yes” in line 9 and ending the poem with “can you imagine?” to stress the main theme which is about the world’s not daring to think of anything besides Kardashians’ utter nonsense. Oh, and *wink* I can’t wait to see the work done, for those rich lines are the nectar of a marvelous future slam poem.

  • 6 years ago

    by naaz

    Congratulations hellon!

  • 6 years ago

    by Ya----Na

    Well deserved win, my motivation

    Sg

  • 6 years ago

    by Domenico Sottile

    Wonderful point!!
    D

  • 6 years ago

    by Nee

    Yay, congrats love <3

Read All Comments (11)

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