The headlines today
told us all that Rob Kardashian
has lost weight
after reading the numerous
comments and congratulations from his fans
I turned to page three
where a little corner
yes, a tiny little corner
told me about the refugees
that are starving
in this unfair world...
Rob has a daughter named Dream
can you imagine
what Dream will be dreaming about tonight...
It will not be the same dream as little
Ahmed had as bombs disrupt his sleep
once more and he wakens to another day of
uncertainty and a growling empty tummy...
*A work in progress...I'm hoping this will somehow become a slam poem :)
The approach of the poet in building up her idea is super smart. Hellon’s black sarcasm hits home in this piece. Her giving a relatively small stanza to Ahmed and his likes is a replica of the world’s shading his right of being in the headlines. Only a skilled writer can think of this methodology, and the poet here perfects it. My suggestions: omitting “yes” in line 9 and ending the poem with “can you imagine?” to stress the main theme which is about the world’s not daring to think of anything besides Kardashians’ utter nonsense. Oh, and *wink* I can’t wait to see the work done, for those rich lines are the nectar of a marvelous future slam poem.