Ten twenty three

Vanessa, a heartfelt write. It is difficult in these modern times when you just can't reach another. I felt your sadness through this.

Heartfelt work and, I have to say, I am a fan of those opening two lines.

All the very best, Vanesa.

I enjoy the title because I imagine that was the time this poem was written or the time the actions of the poem started or ended. It really is a mystery and mystery in a poem can be done well. There is extreme heartache in the very first line and that sets the tone of the poem well, and as the reader I want to read the rest of the poem with that emotion and that is part of what makes a poem good. you did well with that part imo. The poem itself is okay, the wording is good because it tells how you are feeling at that moment and I feel with sad poems that is what is needed, but there are times where I stumbled with punctuation and some grammar things, which I will point out.

I do believe in a personal opinion of course that there is too many starts and stops. I do think poems could be more free flowing especially when they are freeverse. So I think you could take away some periods and let the poem breathe a little more. Now to point out small errors I feel like I saw.

The very first line "I" I think could be read better as "I've" because in my mind I think "I've" reads better as a past tense which is the tone you have set in the poem.

I don't like the word socials. It feels off and doesn't feel like it fits in the poem. I would rewrite that sentence actually. I would personally say

"You were quick to delete me from your social media"

^ I think it reads better because my perspective tells me that you were going for quick lines that read fast and I think it fits more.

I think you should but "the" before grid, in line 8.

I think you could add a comma after the second to last line.

As I said the wording of the poem is there, just needs a little more work in my eyes. I hope that helps.

In the old days rejection was always so much more private. Now it is right across several social media platforms and even if the action is made in the heat of the moment through anger. It can never be taken back because it's out there already for all to see. This habit of watching phones every minute checking for messages means a minute by minute assault on our senses an intensification of the pain. Humiliation and rejection is no longer between a small circle of friends and family it is often viewed by hundreds of people. I wish sometimes that we could go back to the good old days when there was hope that the more subtle signs of rejection were wrong...
A thought provoking piece. Milly x