Old melody keeps playing

by Dagmar Wilson   Jun 12, 2019

My wings are broken from all the weight
no longer can they carry me
I am stranded, stuck in the mud
when will I see the sky again?.

My smile is fake
the tears are real
this mask is getting tight around my face.

Your burdens have become mine
it's taking me back in time
I am slowly drowning.

I wish I could openly confess
instead I am hiding my deepest thoughts
the ones you don't understand,
depression has never left.

I've been playing the same old song for most of my life
now I put in on mute before stepping outside
I don't know how to act.

I like when the sun touches my skin
watching the birds play hide and seek
nature gives me comfort.
I can be myself.


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Latest Comments

  • 5 months ago

    by Star

    In my opinion this poem is really powerful and inspiring, I believe confessions are the toughest. I love how after all, solace comes as a package with nature :)

  • 5 months ago

    by Daniel

    A very poignant, confessional poem Dagmar. The last stanza in particular is revealing and honest, almost like a peaceful afterthought amongst the self criticism penned before it. Well written as ever, take care x

    • 5 months ago

      by Dagmar Wilson

      Thank Daniel I appreciate your comment

  • 5 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    I love the way you have woven in the metaphors of nature here. That first stanza is so visually compelling. Wings broken from the weight, stranded, stuck in the mud and the question when will
    I see the sky again shrieks despair.

    Often when sick or depressed the fake smile is the familiar mask to hide the hidden pain within.
    Despite this hellish existence it doesn't stop a kind and giving person taking up the burdens of others
    even when it drags that person down until the point of drowning.

    That need to appear strong, to not see pity or concern in others eyes or to be judged unfairly- when inside that person is still crumbing is what drives the need to hide the reality from all around.

    Nature is unjudging, the sun warms the skin and the birds chirp and play oblivious to the internal woes mankind. Nature brings comfort a place to be yourself. This is a gentle portrayal of the internal battle with depression with a message of hope that no matter how bleak things are nature doesn't care who you are. Really an enjoyable read. Sending you warm hugs Milly x

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