pelting hard and long
on flowers cupping light—
a slow beheading begins
and one by one they start to fall,
at the bend of a bleary fight.
if only they could pass
through the darkling plume
This is a positively gruesome portrayal of an innocent flower's battle to survive the rain - "a slow beheading begins". Excellent imagery made better because of your subtle personification of said flowers.
I guess from an allegorical level, this screams 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. I'm not sure if that was the intention but I took more than the superficial from this as I read.
Your use of alliteration is fabulous here too - "slow beheading begins" and "bend of a bleary fight" and I certainly appreciate the sneaking in of 'darkling'. I love that word and first came across it when reading Thomas Hardy.
Anyway, enough rambling. Nominated.
Thank you so much Ben for your feedback. I'm glad this piece conveyed what it was meant to. You're absolutely right! The use of personification here was to depict survival i.e. coming out stronger against all odds. When I posted this piece, I was afraid it would be taken literally i.e. rain destroying flowers.
By the way, I love rain and I'm obsessed with flowers :-)
And again, thank you so very much for the nomination Ben. Much appreciated.