Down, i look. You turn to see me, so slowlY
Every now and then, i turn to see you toO
Probably because i am like yoU
Resting at the edge of the hill of our own seA
Eager to see beyond the waters, searchinG
Silently, within tides and reefs of the panoramA
So, in awe of the beauty, I...
I see how the sea becomes one with the oceaN
Oh merging! Merging! As the sun shineS
Now brighter than ever without doubT,
Why oh then do i feel melancholY?
If all i wish was to be one with the ocean toO
Like the sea did...as if the ocean was yoU
Looking at me as i look down the wateR
Tides rising. Splashing. Calling me in, aS,
Unawarely, i, stop looking at you, and you, at mE
Reefs watching and a sea gulL
Now, us, drowned, so alooF
Wow, you write stuff like this in an hour and a half? amazing. my poems take about, um, well, they appear all at once, then I try and write them down immediately - if I don't, I forget them. You know what happened to a couple of them from the poem of mine you commented on! But mine are all child-like, without depth or cleverness. Yours capture so much more, and because of that, they will endure! thanks for this! and great title too!
I spent ages working that out!
This is wonderful. It must have taken a long time to lay it all out, but the result is excellent. A really interesting format... to be honest, I hadn't heard of this form before, and had to look it up! I like the actual content, and also the title is very clever.
Now brighter than ever without a doubT
^^ does it need a comma or elipses at the end? I don't know :)
This truly is brilliant.