Paradise Lost

by ddavidd   May 15, 2021


Life is somewhere between the length of hyenas growling
and the sweet tweet of nightingales.
In that stretch the universe has split
From perfection to paradox
From timelessness
to tick and tock.

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  • 2 years ago

    by Hellon

    I though hyenas laughed or made a sound like laughter.

    Anyway...I felt pulled towards each way after reading this a couple of times depending on events that were happening around me. If I'd just watched the news for example my balance went towards the tick tick and if I had a reason to be happy I swung towards the timelessness...like I wanted to prolong that feeling...just my thoughts of course.

    • 2 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Understood. I have to be honest, your response made me laugh in regards to the hyenas. However, I wonder what grubs think when surrounded by nightingales. Perhaps sweetness is relative.

    • 2 years ago

      by BOB GALLO

      "I wonder what grubs think when surrounded by nightingales. Perhaps sweetness is relative."
      Another excellent point.
      This is the purpose of the poem. the contest between the paradise and the paradise lost, the time and the timelessness, no matter how you dice it to where : a nightingale comes as a predator, or even a lamb, because it devours grass.
      It is a philosophical question, not a humanitarian one . It is about the contrast between existentialistic way of thinking and platonic view, definite, or relative, as you diced the contrast to miniscule pieces nicely. So the universe is still split.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I understand this poem but I believe that things are exactly the way they should be, and so as perfect as they possibly can be, if that makes sense. Perhaps hyenas are as sweet as nightingales, and the 'tick and tock' is as timeless as timelessness.
    This drew me in because I so enjoy Milton's Paradise Lost, but it has a quality and thoughtfulness all its own.

    Regards,
    Ben

    • 2 years ago

      by ddavidd

      edited
      I think you did not get the real purpose of the verse. Saying that, there is an excellent observation in your part both Philosophically and poetically: "Perhaps hyenas are as sweet as nightingales, and the 'tick and tock' is as timeless as timelessness.". I am not denying that, and I did not in my verse either.
      My poetical goal was only to show the contrast, and I use the phrase paradise to describe the lack of contradiction. and if you do not see that, I very much like to see your reaction when you are trapped by a circle of vicious hyenas' " sweetness" and then we could discuss if their sweetness matches the nightingales' one, or perhaps the scientific fact that their viciousness serves a purpose in the overall ecosystem.
      Thank you for responding.

    • 2 years ago

      by ddavidd

      Wrong place I responded

    • 2 years ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Well, any poem that ignites this kind of discussion has real artistic merit, so thank you for the post and for the clarification throughout.

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