The way the body reacts.

It's so strange how the body reacts
to a shift in emotion,
a temperature change,
a hug that lasts seconds too long.

My limbs tense in anticipation
and I have to manually tell them
to relax, to instill confidence
in every breath.

There are reminders of my past
everywhere here,
with people sharing how they
miss my voice,
my presence,
my faith.

And my body reacts
without my consent
when I hear the silence
of heads bowing,
the soft rustle of hands
making the signs of the cross,
the fervent praying and unified "amen"
that makes me twitch in my seat.

Religion - a rule growing up,
an obligation,
then a companion,
slowly transforming to an itch
I could not rid myself of.

It led my life for so long,
and I often found solace in it,
but now I've found everything

[in myself].