still waters.

i am drowning.
except, i'm landlocked;
i cannot be swayed.
the ebb and flow of joy
cannot reach me
how it used to.
i keep my eyes open,
but they see no coast.
if i could disappear,
without the guilt of
leaving you behind,
i would.

the weight ties me down,
each time you say
"keep fighting".

it is too much of
a burden to always
be sinking.