To open up is to risk it all.

I imagine us at a state fair,
walking through the crowds
with no anxiety between us.
We stand in line for cotton
candy like eager kids, your
smile convincing me that the
world isn't such a scary place.

But you're not mine, and I'm
not yours. I can't ride home with
you and watch you play video
games until way past midnight.

I can't lean my head against your
shoulder. You will never sit by my
side and read me bedtime stories.

I will never see your face again,
or hear your voice, softly repeating
how you'll always be here for me.

Your silence will never envelop me
in compassion again. You were done
being patient; I am just a stranger now.

This was a mistake.

Meeting you.

Meeting me.

I should have done nothing.

I should have never asked for help.

I should have never trusted anyone but myself.