Nothing

Sometimes i glance into the mirror,
i hate what i shall see.
i long to love that person,
the one who is staring back at me.

but it's hard to love when you hate
that ugly person you see,
i wish i was someone else
because that ugly person is me.

i feel i am not worth of love
nor everlasting happiness or true friendship.
everything I've ever loved has been taken away,
like I'm not worth a decent relationship.

every friend i once had is no longer there,
its a matter of time before these new ones say goodbye.
every bit of hope I've ever had has left
and that's why i always cry.

each day i awaken, i put on this act,
i walk through this fake world
and one of its fake players,
i pretend to be this happy confident girl.

there is so much bottled up inside
that I'm too afraid to let out.
i really don't know who i am
and i don't even know what I'm about.

i was not brought up with love-
i was taught not to have trust or dreams
when i once said i had beliefs, they laughed.
I'm stupid to hope and feel as it seems.

I'm so tired and confused,
i really hate this life!
i have nothing to show for myself,
at times i feel i should commit suicide.

i feel that's the only way to escape
because there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
and i can't seem to face my fears,
I'm so empty inside.

i see my crush, the one i long to be with
and in his eyes, i know we'll never be.
I'm so used to this only friends s**t,
I'm nothing to any of you and I'm nothing to me.