Disappiontment

Don't know how
I'm gunna explain
can't take the looks
will bring more pain

but i need someone
to try and see
and say what is right
so i can be me

not this lil girl
who's lost her self-control
but that other girl
who's happy, always whole

how do you explain
something you don't get
disappointed in myself
and full of regret

what should i do
please someone say
i cant do this again
i cant live this way

cold deep inside
face burning up
mind just blank
resorting to cuts

why is it back
this need in me
need for pain
no longer free

thought it was over
the struggle had gone
but now alone again
for a change I'm wrong

so here we go again
hiding so ashamed
why cant i cry
who's to be blamed?

i don't understand
completely confused
i was happy again
free and unused

but now I'm empty
deep inside of me
my friends may be near
but they cant see