IM CRYING, CANT YOU SEE

I'm crying, I'm crying
just please love me dad,
just be proud,
stop telling me you hate me
that I'm not yours
stop hurting my mummy even though we've moved.
you still come around though
charming at the door
then once in our walls
why do you do this
why do you hurt me so much
please
I'm crying cant you see
what have i done to deserve this!
is it because i stood up to one of the bullies in my life
my father
when they were on the floor in the living room crying, and you wanted more
why me?
i hit you because you were chasing me with your body and mind
and i was scared
why do you blame me for everything?
is it because i seem stronger than the rest? that my sister is killing herself, and my mum-wasting her memories on drugs.
why this?
why hurt me so much
because i stood up to you
please stop it
i want to now die
thanks for reassuring my worthlessness
i now want to die
please daddy I'm crying now
you can stop
cant you see
I'm crying now, my family bruised
please stop now
please daddy, please stop
please just not that
or not so often
I'm on the floor crying now, you've done enough
can you not see
i cant speak anymore
can you not hear
I'm hyperventilating through fear can you not feel

just stop now dad

why daddy can you not love me?