Why Won't U Help Me

You asked me the in a patronizing tone
Why I act so hard done by as if I am alone
Snarled at me to stop the crocodile tears
Time to start acting all of my twenty years

Dismissed the cuts deep in my arm
No child of yours would ever self harm
Depression does not exist, it must be pretend
For how can an illness have no cuts to mend

I told you I felt dead already deep inside
You laughed at me, said have some pride
Shouted life is whatever you want it to be
But you do not know what it is like being me

You promised you wanted to understand
But when I explained you let go of my hand
Looked at me as if I was a total stranger
As though touching me would bring danger

You said this was not what you wanted
Like I choose for my life to be haunted
The disappointment in your eyes was clear
A child with mental illness your worst fear

I could tell you wished you had never asked
Wished my depression was still masked
And with that you turned and walked away
Leaving me alone for yet another day

I cannot do this anymore mum, such pain
I know you think I have gone totally insane
But it is still me here inside this empty shell
how can you love me yet leave me alone in hell?