A suicide for my family

***Long but well worth the read***

“Leave me alone!”
I scream and slam my door
I get in my room
Collapse to the floor

What did I do to deserve this?
A place where I cant do anything right
Everything I do or say
I have to defend with a fight

I am sick of talking about how I feel
I dont want to have to lie
I just want to escape this life
And if it means so die

One tear falls after another
Staining up my face
It does not matter anyway
I wish I was gone without a trace

Please God take me soon
Else I will do it on my own
I am not acting or joking
You can probably tell in my tone

I am unhappy, scared
And so full of hate
Dont try to stop me
Its already too late

I have made up my mind
This choice is not wrong
Please don’t say Im weak
Cause I tried to be so strong

I know my friends wont understand
But its a chance I’m willing to take
And I dont want to think about my parents
They will think it was a mistake

My suicide note was fair enough
I left for all to read
Someone had to take my life
I just did the deed

“My brother and sister
I bid a sad fare well
I did not want to leave you
But my life is a living hell

Mother and father might need you now
So I want you to stay strong
Please go on with out me
I promise it won’t be too long

I will be with Grandma
Way up in the sky
And yes this was my choice
I’m the one that wanted to die

No one held this razor
To my scared up wrist
No one pressed down on it
Or made the final twist

I just can not keep going
Like my life is all right
I am sick of lying
I’m sick of the never ending fight

So when you see an angel
Or hear a child sing
Pretend it is me you see or hear
And rub my diamond ring

I leave it up to you Brooke dear
To keep Joshy in line
And don’t worry about me now
Cause I know that I’ll be fine

Mom and dad I will miss you too
Please keep your head held up high
There are not any final words I have
So please don’t ask me why

I love you all very much
But the rape just was enough
The cutting and the endless nights
Just seemed to me too tough”

So that’s when I took my life
Right up in my room
I laid there for a little while
But my sister found me soon

“Mom call the ambulance
Jordan slit her wrists!”
I heard my sister’s final words
Before I went a mist

I floated up to heaven
I watched my family cry
I saw my brother asking
“God all I want to know is why?”

“Josh,” I whispered in his ear
“I loved you very much,”
I watched a tear fall down his check
I felt his final touch

Then I left the earth for good
And I never looking back
Regret is something that I don’t have
It is something I’ve always lacked

Death is just making physical gone
My soul is still around
Everywhere you look or hear
From heaven to the ground

Brother, Father, Sister, Mom
I am still by each of your sides
My body is just beneath the earth
And you still love me besides

Keep me in all of your hearts
Because you’ll be in mine
And the hurt that you feel now
Will slowly heal with time

***Josh actually is my brother and Brooke
is my sister, but for the record I am not
committing suicide.***