Guilty Moonrise

by Dave   Sep 30, 2005


The guilty moon is on the rise
crime and punishment where the guilty lie
where the innocent walk who we try
no true since of pride is why
with the guilty moon hanging high
the face of freedom starts to cry
the innocent man who's friends will hale
the beginning of the end for justice scales
my story is the same as all
my innocents is the only fall

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  • 16 years ago

    by ALEX

    "my story is the same as all"

    That's a great line. I like this poem for it's honesty. It really seems like you're speaking straight, not embellishing anything more than it needs to be. I think it's beautiful.

  • 17 years ago

    by Melpomene

    You write amazing dark poems i enjoy them all. Well done on a nicely penned dark poem. 5/5 ~mel

  • 18 years ago

    by Vegetable

    Hmmm, very intresting, I have a few suggestions though! 1) Guilty is randomly repeated three times, and in such a short poem, that takes away from the meaning of the repeated word 2) rise and lie dont rhyme 3) some of your rhymes sound forced ("the innocent man who's friends will hale
    the beginning of the end for justice scales","my story is the same as all
    my innocents is the only fall ")
    Good job overall though!

  • Nice poem, really well written. I liked the words you've used in it.

    xxx cici xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by XxTeArSxX17

    Nice job like the flow alot keep up the good work and thanks so much for your comment