Nick's Song

I don't want you to miss me, cause you know i miss you too,
But the only real chance that i had with you i blew.
And as soon as i did it i knew i made a big mistake,
But i was too scared to admit it.
No matter how many warm thoughts people tried to help me with,
I found it to f u c king hard to try and live, with the person i am.
Being deceitful to my girlfriend and family,
My anger was channeled at the people who gave a damn,
And that tried to help me through, this mess i got myself into.
But right now we can put the past behind us and just choose,
Whether we want what's best for us or to remain foolish.
And ignorant to the facts that torture me with this bullshit.
What I'm really trying to say to you is this,
If i could change what i did with one little wish,
Would that make me a better person, or would that make me a b i t c h?
Thinking about it now just makes me want to change,
Not for you or anyone but for the person that it made me...
And nothings gonna make me happy, but nothings gonna hold me down,
And nothing should have made that smile of yours turn into a frown.
But what's done is done and what's said is said,
But I'm only going to get sleep, when I'm on my death bed.
When i was thinking of you, and the anger that grew,
And when i look at how i acted, and the emotions i threw,
And just looking back on how the end of it was final,
I then think back and remember i was suicidal.
And all the pain that comes into my mind just comes in floods,
And the only release i had at the time was blood,
And then i found my medication, and it came in form
Of an outcast that's been through shit, and that's worn and torn,
And through that person, myself alone was born.

*a song that my ex Nick wrote me after he got a head job form my best friend...
he only just gave it to me, and it's been a few months now i think...

Any comments would be greatly appreciated:P