My \"Love\"

It makes me excited
it makes me afraid
Hmm.. I wonder who I will be today?
it changes me
& my surroundings
my conscience gets left behind
it\'s not invited to this party
for once I want to keep me from my mind
no worries for now
my only thought is
who cares what happens..
I want to have a great time!
but by morning I will wonder what I did
as my conscience returns
I feel a wave of shame
was it really worth it?
I no longer feel the same
the happiness has disappeared
& without giving it a second thought
I grab the whiskey
& one more shot
as my \"love\" for the night
leaves my bed
I hate myself, once again
this time even more
& as he opens my bedroom door
he takes one last look at me & says:
\"last night was great, you wh**e"
I gave him my all
without a single care
for my love affair
of alcohol.