I like this, but songs are tricky when it comes to fitting them to mucis. i have a couple of songs and now that i see you can post them i will. One thing though, just a comment and maybe you already can,. but if you want to write a really good song learn some simple guitar and get a tune going. actualkly sing the words and see if they fit. ever since i learned guitar my poetry in general has greatly improved. Knowing rythem empowers your ability to express thought artisctically.
I like this song, I hope you write more.
That was soooooo sweet..it reminded me of myself though in some parts..I got a little bit confused but then I figured it out and now i understand! it was great you expressed your feelings wonderfully! great job oh and I gave you a 5 =D..keep it up!