I really enjoyed this for different reasons. I liked how you have two separate characters speaking. This is the first piece I've read ever on this site that is able to pull this off which is impressive. I also liked the scenario and how you create characters with depth despite only having a short space to work with. It doesn't sound cliched at all and all the lines fit in perfectly. I was also impressed with how much detail you put in despite only having two lines for each stanza. The only part I did not understand was which girl was pregnant. Excellent stuff anyways, I liked it.
This had me on the edge of my seat all the way until the end. It's so sad, he loved her but he couldn't be with her. Awwww... I kind of feel sorry for the bride too a little bit (but just a little). I really enjoyed this piece.