My Tears Are Running Heavy. [Sedoka]

by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG   Dec 4, 2006


My Tears Are Running Heavy.

Torn photographs are
Scattered along the bare floor
As I pick up the bottle.

Slamming back my past
With old Mr.Daniel's and
My tears are running heavy.

© Jenna Elphick
December 3, 2006

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The Sedoka is an unrhymed poem made up of two three-line katauta with the following syllable counts: 5/7/7, 5/7/7. A Sedoka, pair of katauta as a single poem, may address the same subject from differing perspectives.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Wasted Fake Smiles

    Short yet jam-packed w/ greatness. loved the detailing...it really painted a picture! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    This was a another well done piece. My one suggestion would be to use another expression other than, 'slams the bottle down' only because I've seen it in your other poems a couple of times. But if this was my first time stumbling upon your work, and I'd never read your other poems, I'd say you perfectly entertwined words of anger and sorrow throughout!
    Charisma*

  • 17 years ago

    by Mommy And Me

    Awe sweety. this was a good poem. differnt style. i loved reading it. it brought me in and kept me there. i love the imagery. good job.

    -Terra

  • 17 years ago

    by Bryan

    This is a very good sedoka jenna, flows great, i give it a 5/5!!! keep it up!!!

  • 17 years ago

    by Cindy

    Good Job! Keep up with the writing especially if you enjoy it!

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