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by Bridgette Jan 4, 2007
Sadness, depression /
I try to block out the sound
Your words ringing in my head
Cutting into the very pit of my stomach
Shredding any ounce of self esteem that remain
The degrading words and disgust in your voice
Is enough to bring my whole life crashing down
I try so hard to make you happy, make it right
But the insults continuously fall from your mouth
That harshness of the reality within our problems
Is slowly settling into this forsaken heart of mine
This is the end of us and all we have become
And the dignity that I once had is now gone
That cold look in your eyes reveals no love
Only hate for the one who loves you so much
We're falling apart and you're doing nothing
But I still try my best to keep you here with me
by Never URs
This is really creative good job!! keep it up!
That is amazing!!! keep on writing
by Italian Stallion
For a non-rhyming poem this was very well written. The flow and the strucutre were both good. Awesome write. I loved it.
That was really sad, but it flowed perfectly. It was very powerful, too. You really expressed well what you were trying to say.
"Shredding any ounce of self esteem that remain" - I think it should be 'remains' instead of 'remain'.
Anyhow, nice job. 5/5.
Wow, it flowed really well. And it was so sad. I can totally relate to this. It was so very powerful and deep. I could feel the emotions pouring out while reading the words. And the vocabulary was great. Keep it up. It was absolutley amazing..