Why Can't I Let Go?

Nobody can change it
No one can take the pain away.
It lingers,
Like a memory;
Searing through my heart and soul
Like a dagger
Ripping me apart.

There isn't any difference
Between the past and the future.
Which is mainly why I feel so obliged?
To just... end it now.

There is no future
When the past is a living nightmare
That haunts you like a fly
That won't go away.
A scratch
Situated in a spot impossible for me to reach.
It attacks me
Where it is that I cannot defend.
It pains me,
A pain in which medicine to ease
Does not exist.

Is there any point living in pain
When pleasure is just a mystery?
Is there no point in existence
But to exist in a place where things
-Including yourself-
Are beyond your control?
Is there any point of holding onto
What has passed
And will never be again?
If so,
Why can't I let go?