Runaway (contest)

by Choose xX Alex Xx Life   May 13, 2007


Runaway.

Ugly, stupid, afraid of face,
Terrified; her life is the race.
Shes coming first, this is her day,
Death will catch her in her runaway.

A young beautiful girl, far away,
Golden blond hair, cries all day.
But she has the soul of an angel,
Her body's spirit however is nothing but fragile.

Sits on her own at school nibbling food,
Smiles at the teachers as not to be rude,
Strolls past them nervously; The girls room,
Pencil down her throat, full of gloom.

Why does she do it? she runs away,
From reality, truth she cant face.
The most beautiful smile, all girls envy,
Not having the first idea of what she does privately.

Relating to this girl, no matter how.
Means you have felt this in the past or now.
Why don't you see, your extremely amazing,
We all are beautiful is the point that I'm raising.

Brown, blond, red, or black hair.
It shows the real you so please do not care.
Anorexic, bulimic, tall or small,
Thank god he made you who you are.

Get up and dance, feel the beat...
Music and heart, make your ends meet.
Punk, Gothic, prep or Emo,
Be who you want ignoring the feeble.

Don't ever runaway, from those who are weak,
Stand up and smile for the words that you speak.

NEVER BE AFRAID OF YOURSELF !! YOU WERE MADE FOR A REASON FIND IT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE XX

yups give me your thoughts please i really like feedback thank you....

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow I really enjoyed the way that this poem was written. I think that you did a very good job this isn't the typical poem that I'm used to reading. A heartfelt poem about such topics is hard to write but you did a very good job. I wish that everyone could view these things like you do, like a disease that needs to be healed instead of something that should be covered up and ignored. The message and the flow of the poem were perfect but there were just a few spelling mistakes that I'd like to point out to you. I think that the first line should be "afraid to face" instead of "afraid of face" I think that to makes more sense. "Shes" should be "She's" "cant" should be "can't". I liked the message but I think that it got lost a little bit along the way. The sixth and the seventh stanzas need just a bit of work because the rhymes sound really forced or non existent and it takes a lot away from the potential beauty that the poem holds. A little fixing on those two and I think this poem will be great.

  • 16 years ago

    by Robert

    Another really good poem the description and your vocabulary was done quite well in this thanks for sharing Plot121

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Why don't you see, your extremely amazing,
    We all are beautiful is the point that I'm raising."

    ^^Oh how I love those lines. I found them to be incredibly powerful...as was the whole poem. But, those lines just stood out to me for some reason.

    "Don't ever runaway, from those who are weak,
    Stand up and smile for the words that you speak."

    ^^ Now that is a PERFECT ending..really. Wow. I don't even know what to say. And that doesn't happen to me very often.

    I honestly can not find anything wrong with this. I find it to be beautiful and elegant, and you certainly have a way of bringing things to light that most people would rather not talk about.

    Awesome work on this.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Rhyming seems very forced, message is excellent but personally I don't like the way that you wrote this one. You could use some metaphors to express emotions on a better way, it is a meaningful poem but it doesn't really have powerful atmosphere like your others. Anyway that is just my opinion.

  • 16 years ago

    by JR13

    A very positive message and great on the flow. 5/5

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