Screaming In Agony

by Jessica   May 27, 2007


Sitting silently; hidden by the downfall of drops,
Rapidly soaking through thick layers of protection,
Washing away the ruby red of secret pain from her body,
Shallow pools of water reveal her blood stained reflection.

Insecurities rapidly roll away from her body; set free by water.
Leaving behind lines of happiness; replacing slaughtered skin.
Holiness traces its steps over her soul by removing thin ruby lines,
Screaming in agony as it clears from her mind the evil within.

Overpowering craving takes over once more; resistance impossible.
Begging the crimson liquids to stop flowing; the evil to be oppressed,
Sacred water burns away the hatred; releasing the blood containing it,
Pleading to God to free her, pleading to God to save a girl possessed.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Body; set free = body, set free (semi-colon is improper for use in this way)

    Interesting poem. Although it was quite difficult to read this poem with a seemingly forced intricate vocabulary, I did enjoy this unique poem. It was difficult to follow until the very last line, where I suddenly understood the whole poem. It reminds me of a poem about many of the movies about excorcisms and the such, and however it reminds me of those movies, it still remains truly unique in my eyes. Well done with this poem, and keep the ink flowing.

    5/5
    ~Stephen White

  • 16 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    I liked the introduction you have to this poem, with a simple use of alliteration. First anf formost while reading the pooem the read comes across a poetic tecnique. A good start. I og on to read the "downfall of drops," it makes me wonder what you meant. I mean are you describing the rain? If you are i really like the fact you didnt say "she was crying inb the rain" or something similar. The rest of the stanza makes me think your talking about self harm. When reading the secound stanza you used "her body" again. I wasnt a big fan of this as you had just used it. I noticed you use allieration quite a few times in this read. The vocxbulary of the poem was brilliant and it had a really good flow to it. To improve your work i suggest you use a more varied punctuation along with enjambment. Keep writing! xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    Another beautiful poem from you. The language use was good, I like the structure of the poem. Choice of words was good! You're really talented :) 5/5 as always!

  • 16 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    An awesome poem, the emotion is over powering, so intense and deep.
    The poem is brought to life with the imagery and sadness.
    A great poem, my friend
    much love, Tara-Kay
    x

  • 16 years ago

    by Georgi

    Yes. its official. your vocab is EXCELLENT.
    Geo
    xoxox