More Like Her

by *Charisma*   Jul 2, 2007


More Like Her
By: Charisma*

Between the dishes and the laundry
The bathrooms and the floors
I don't know how she does it all
And still has time for more.

In the middle of this chaos
She still finds time for fun.
She keeps giving of herself
And sometimes comes undone.

But it doesn't stop the charity
She'd give you her last penny
If just to see your smile
To her that would be plenty.

If ever I have a problem
She becomes the sounding board.
She would be a therapist
I just couldn't afford.

Everybody loves her
It's easy to see why.
She's a mother, a friend,
A daughter and a wife.

At the end of one of these days
A bedtime story can be heard.
And my only wish in life
Is to be more like her.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Lets Keep it A Surprise

    What a wonderful poem!=)

    How often we wish to be in the shoes of someone else, because they seem to be doing more with their life then us! This poem to me is more reflective, because it shows me what I could do more, and what things i should do less.

    The flow was a tiny bit off, but it could also been the way I read it.

    "Everybody loves her
    It's easy to see why.
    She's a mother, a friend,
    A daughter and a wife."

    - This stanza could have been worded differently, because to me it seemed rather choppy. But thats my opinion=)

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Hey,

    You haven't written anything recently, so I thought I'd go back and read something I'd not before. I liked this piece, not massively, but more like I found it pleasant. I felt it was a very calm, and relaxing poem. I do think though that the fifth stanza was a little out of place, mainly (if only) because it didn't rhyme. And I think the last stanza didn't even need to be there except to round off the stanzas and because it included the title. It also didn't rhyme which again I think made it out of place.

    Brad

    P.S. Thanks for giving me your true thoughts when you read my poems...and thanks for always reading them, lol. Also, thank you for writing lengthy comments. I much prefer them to 'I really like this piece. well done, and keep up the good work' or 'This piece was really good. I liked the structure and the flow.' Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to get any comments, good or bad (as you know) but I just prefer longer, more in depth ones.

    P.P.S. I do you the word 'and' a hell of a lot, this I know, but I find it's the only way to make the structure flow in most cases.

  • 16 years ago

    by Amani

    Awh
    that was adorable!

  • 16 years ago

    by Everly

    Great

  • 16 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Awehh that was so cute ! I think every teenage girl that reads this should be able to look at their Mothers afterward with a lot more respect than they do prior to reading this. I don`t know if your Mother was the inspiration to this, but it really made me just want to hug mine lol. Great job Hunn.

    5.5
    :]