Your Cold-Hearted Words

by *Charisma*   Nov 9, 2007


Curled up in the corner
In the fetal position
Wishing her father
Could lose the addiction

She misses her mother
Apparently he does too
But the ways he handles it
Leave her all black and blue

He'll yell at her for a while
Let her know where she stands
All his death-dealing words
Get backed up by his hands

Tonight it's the Jim Bean
And an old photograph
That bring out the devil
In a man full of wrath

He used to be so loving
Give piggyback rides
Ice cream for good grades
There were see-saws and slides

But the swingset is broken
Like the rest of his heart
When she died on that day
They both fell apart

He's the frame of a man
That at one time was great
But when he let go of love
All he had left was hate.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by TillyMariex

    Omg...you are so talened.i love it =]

  • 13 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Overall I thought this was a good piece, I especially liked the third, fofth, fifth and seventh stanzas as they were very well written, had good rhymes and told important and powerful parts of the story. I must be honest, I disliked the last line of the second stanza immensely, this is because I feel 'black and blue' has been far overused, but apart from that, it was an enjoyable read.

    Brad

    P.S. Thank you for your comment on my piece 'Me in the Meltdown', I'm glad you weren't bored by it and that it didn't drag on, either of those seem very positive, lol. However, I must say that I totally disagree with you, I think it is boring. I've re-read it twice, and I find it dissatisfying. I'm very dissappionted to have actually submitted it, and will probably delete it, but thank you for you kind words, even if they were lies, lol.

  • 13 years ago

    by Ike Dizzle

    Dang that's a sad, sad poem. Almost made me cry and i'm a dude. And no i'm not sensitive geez. lol but excellent poem. If this is real, I'm sorry
    -vino

  • 13 years ago

    by Whitney

    Wow, this has an amazing amount of emotion in it. To lose a loved one is one of the hardest and most painful things to try and get over. I know where ur coming from and how it feels. But they arn't gone until you let them go. Great job, <3 whit

  • 13 years ago

    by Midnight Sun

    But the swingset is broken
    Like the rest of his heart
    When she died on that day
    They both fell apart

    He's the frame of a man
    That at one time was great
    But when he let go of love
    All he had left was hate.

    ^^That was amazing! Those were definately my fav stanzas and they matter the most too. Because no matter how good a poem is if the conclusion is weak then the rest is ruined. That definately didn't happen here. This was pure power. Amazing job, Charisma!!! :)
    ~Midnight Sun