Wish of mine

Try eliminating some of the fillers (I, and, you etc) as a lot of the time the flow runs much smoother for it.
I really liked the end stanza, I thought it was very powerful and moving.

Overall a great poem. I gave 5/5 I like the way you write your poems. Keep it up my dear

Tc'
Fsams

It seemed as though you have more than one idea for this one. i liked it but it was sorta everywhere, like you had long sentences and short sentences. it didn't really appeal to me as much as other poems do. i give you a 4/5. sorry

Wow this poem is so strong

Wow beautifully written
5/5 from me
xx