What do i do now... what do i do when the person i relied on the most... will never be there again?

about my own brother...

"I can not save you. I can't even save myself, so just save yourself.....You cannot save me, you can't even save yourself."
--Stabbing Westward

Hanging on the edge of the abyss
Hanging by a thread
How long before it breaks?

Originally written 31-3-2008

So you look at your life, You look at the world, Then you look to the oceans, You're looking for that world, A world above the rest, Something to set you free,Then you realize.......................................................You need to get out.

I feel so stupid. i mean to actually think that you cared? what was i thinking?

I feel so cold and empty inside & its all because of you..

I really thought you were different... but no youre just like every other selfish, self-centered, hypocritical, stupid boy out there...

Why is it that i still get suprised when someone rejects? when someone doesnt want to be my friend? why does that still make me feel so empty? why does that make me pick up my blade?

How is it that just 1 stupid person can cause me 2 carve so many scars into my skin? just 1 stupid person can make me feel so empty inside...

The razer blade drags across my skin
the blood flows like a river down my arm
Stainning it like rusted red paint.

(This was gonna be a poem but I like it better as a quote)