Pain releases me yet binds me~

I can be in a room full of people and still be alone.

Why wont it just stop hurting
please,please stop the pain

I hate him for placing pain upon me;
Emotionally and physically based;
Every word he yelled at me,
Every bruise he slammed onto face.

To Edward
(My Dad)

I'll Keep Searching For You;
But Until I Find You,
I'll See You In My Mind.

If he cared he would be there.

"Yesterday i went upstairs, i met a man who wasnt there. He wasnt there again today... how i wish he'd go away..."

I shrivel and shake and fall - ALWAYS falling
Down, oh so down into a pendulum of change from change and tainted tears which fall.. I wish I could say one last thing:
I'm sorry for making the worst part of you.....me

Lurid obscurities dance across the floor
A mirror reflectioned of the past
Fragmented torture burning into my core
No one behind me, yet a shadow is cast

Why do i feel like an empty shell if there's still someone in there screaming for a release?