One For the Road

by Malboros pipe   Feb 5, 2010


Inside an old & tattered dirty bar
Misery slowly turning into desolation
Sits a dreamer, a could of been
Waiting for some much needed inspiration

"Fill me up" mumbles from the background
A miserable barman pours one for the aggravated drunk
Slides it along the sweat encrusted counter
Quenched it, downed it, replying with the same phrase

Stale stench of rough cigar smoke
Gradually smothering the "overture" of conversation
A vintage radio jutting out from the corner
Written on it "Purchases Through Tax Evasion"

Old rusty road signs cover the gloomy walls
A basin overloaded with discarded cigarettes
"One more for the Road" says the unwise drunk
Slowly decaying into his own ring of death.

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    This created a visual picture in my mind... Lol. You have painted the picture so well, of a drunk sitting in this dingy old bar room... dreaming of what life could have been. I found it very touching... especially the last line...

    "Slowly decaying into his own ring of death... "

    Strong words... that are so true, Lol.

    Thankyou for this poem. A good job :)
    Olwin.

  • 7 years ago

    by Shinobi

    This is actually a poem I never encountered before. The idea is original...
    The main point of this poem was not to drive drunk I think, or is it just a funny poem about a drunk in a bar?
    Either way, you did a very good job on the discription of the bar. I could've imagined it all the way through the poem.
    A very nice work on the rhyming, and keeping the flow.
    Nothing less than a 5/5

  • 7 years ago

    by ilikepurple222

    This is sad. but also good at the very same time. do you mean that this person has let go of their dreams and now sulks and lets life go by without them? like he's letting life get the best of him?

  • 7 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I enjoyed reading this contemperary poem. The imagery of the bar sets the mood and the flow is flawless

  • 7 years ago

    by SiLeNtLy ScReAmInG

    I liked the imagery in the poem. I'd say that was your strongest point throughout. You described everything quite vividly so that I could picture it clearly in my head. I liked the lines like "Slides it along the sweat encrusted counter" and "Stale stench of rough cigar smoke" cause they applied to more than one of the senses making it more reall and clear the state of the bar and emphasizes how you described it as old, tattered and dirty in the very first line. The descriptions definately make the bar seem like a real place rather than just simply saying it was a bar.

    I have to say the first stanza, was most definately my favorite though overall as a whole stanza. I liked the description of the dreamer waiting for inspiration, and how it contrasted with the dingy dirtiness of the bar, not a likely place to find the inspiration, it shows how low the person is I think. I liked the poem overall and thought you did a good job with it. 5/5