The Light Switch

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Nov 9, 2017

undermining my soul's ambitions,
has brought me to this co-ordinate
in existence.
A place where pleasure wilts by
pining from the past,
looking to the future,
or staring in the mirror.

In comprehending reality,
I wonder surreptitiously:
What has it done to me?

Abolished into a realm, of my own doing,
what once were interstices of happiness
have grown to be light years apart,
each gap I'm not sure I'll survive.

What is the point of living
if happiness is ever-present in the distance,
but unreachable?
Why am I forced to carry burdens
and smile as they burrow holes in my back?

The unanswerable taunts me,
as do my soul's ambitions,
tucked away in a summer
lost many years ago.

Over those years,
I've found my existence to be a light switch,
and it takes one flick to turn it off.
My finger hovers.
Oh! It hovers,
as I contemplate down to my last molecule
if being here really matters,
if my co-ordinates are a destination
or a dead end.

I lose myself in the moments passing.
Over the many years of staring longingly at this light switch,
I've found losing myself is the only way to keep the lights on.



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Latest Comments

  • 11 months ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    What a wonderful piece! Keep on trying to turn that light on!! only a few short months and your free as a bird!! :) and can fly as high as one too ;)

    Im glad this is nominated

  • 11 months ago

    by Em

    Be still my heart...

    This is so expressive and emotional. I'm glad it's nominated.

    Take care
    Em x

  • 11 months ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    A sad write but always remember the best is yet to come. There are greater days ahead and the light is near. Never give up. Hugs my friend. Keep on writing.

  • 11 months ago

    by ddavidd

    I'll com to this later to edit this comment.My essays are due.
    I love this

  • 11 months ago

    by Brenda

    Stephen, such a sad and longing write. Never give up searching for that light! It's there for you and your entire future is ahead of you. I know wonderful things are in store for you! I know I have said this before, but I am so happy to see you writing again. Hugs!

    • 11 months ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thank you Brenda. Once I get my DD 214 and can grow my hair, my beard, and travel where/when I want... I think things will be a bit brighter for me. This deployment is just the last hump to that freedom, and with only 2 months left ... it's nearing its end. Thank goodness.

      Much love always.

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