I had a wet dream about you last night...
i dreamed you got hit by a bus and i was pisssing myself laughing

Ide like to take this moment to thank Gwen Stefani for teaching the whole world how to spell 'bananas'

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

FAT KIDS ARE HARDER TO KIDNAP!!

If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Summarizing my biggest hardship in one word?

Kittens.

The furry little monsters that sleep under your bed at night. Or try to suffocate you in your sleep (by sitting on your face).

Crying wont get you anywhere but screaming might.

Gingerbread men:
A tasty holiday treat
Or a child's path way to canabilizem
You decide

Elmo watches you when you [sleep].

Can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?