I dont really believe in suicide ... but it might make me feel better to watch you do it

My gf was baby sitting some children and i overheard her comment and i quote "Ask them what they want to eat, but tell them to ask for something that doesn't require me getting up to prepare it. HAHAHA I could not stop myself from laughing!

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving may not be for you.

~My friend Nick told me that so the credit goes to him~

Tomarrow never comes.

When life gives you lemons, stick them down your bra and make your boobs bigger!

Why do you care what to wear? strip your clothes go nude who cares?

I f*lcked her once..i fl*cked her twice..i ate that pl*ssy like shrimp fried rice

~pick em, lick em, leave them~

how stupid it my friends

In heaven...

girl1(drug addict): so why did you die?
girl2: ex husband killed me. You?
girl1(drug addict): i got hit by a plane!!

Brunettes have more fun.

PrInGlEs - OnCe U pOp U cNt StOp - So Y do DeY cUm wIv A lId??!!