Sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you really think of them...

I will not encourage others to fly....

My flying monkeys will throw poo at you...

I just found out that my boyfriend cooks with a pooper scooper instead of a spatchula hmm...no wonder his food tasted like sh*t!

Be safe...have sex!!!!

When a blonde says "Lets do it...." she proably means brain surgrey!

A little advice:
When your upstairs with your bf and your mom comes home, make sure he doesn't leave his boxers behind when he climbs out the window.

They say beauty is on the inside, but its better on the out.

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|Trojan CONDOMS | '|""";.., ___.
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If french fries are called french fries then what the hell is an american fri??

I wanna try an american fri real bad!

Please answer I'm serious about my fries!!