You might've heard I roll with a dangerous crowd. We're crazy, we laugh a little too loud. But that never hurt anyone, because only the good die young.

If I'm lying, wouldn't my pants be on fire?

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings

When you walk into a room
all the boys go "DAYUMM!"
&& all the gurls go get platic surgery
and liposuction!

[made for my friend Angie]

If I could be your punk rock princess, You could be my garage band King.

If God didn't want us to eat animals, He wouldn't have made them out of meat.

Boy are like storms they come go!!!!!LoL

When you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.