Ex boyfriends are like frisbees
you throw them but they always come back

With my eyes
I conquered your heart
With my hands
I controllerd your body
With my foot
I shall KICK YOUR A**

A person living in alaska might actually be happy if you told them to [b[u[r[n[ in h]e]l]l] =] atleast its warm there.......

A kid tells his grandpa "sorry grandpa but ur friend died the other day." n the gradpa says "well i sure hope he did becuz they buried him!"

There is such a thing as a good guy, their just all dead. ;)

Not mine, but it's kind of funny

Guys need to be lied to as much or more as they lie to us
-I just thought of this while i was writing to my frined (it's true)

"Is it hot in here or is it just me?"
"Its you, baby." says bf
"Oh [s[h[i[t] the cookies are burning!!"
bf: -.-

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

That is funny
That is so...
Spit down your neck kick you in the crouch funny!!!!

My best friend/cousin were goofing off one day and started saying that (it\'s on Friends)now we say all the time.

Lifes a b***h and so am i, deal with it