Lets run away together; sike I have asthma

If you have someone that will put up with you still doing sidewalk chalk at 30 don't ever leave them .

I seldom do swing, but I do hang around a lot.

Does anyone have b.it.ch repellent?

Woman: I'm super woman!
Man: no you're bat girl. you look good in the suit but you don't got no super powers. Or maybe you should be wonder woman. Because I come home everyday and I'm wondering: where's my woman?!

Me and my boyfriend broke up over religious differences... He thought he was *God*, I didn't...

Yeah...THATS WHAT SHE SAID

I don't "stalk" I "investigate"

Someone told me i am immature and need to grow up.
Guess who's not allowed in my treehouse now.

There is a "lie" in believe,
"over" in lover,
"end" in friend,
and an "if" in life,
and after Monday and Tuesday
my calendar says W.T.F!