Girl: Do you like this shiny new toaster I got?
Boy: You already have a toaster, why did you get a new one?
Girl: I didn't want to mess the old one up when I throw it at your head.
Boy: Oh ok. WAIT! WHAT?

You want a perfect girl, go buy a barbie doll

Girl: wat do u wan to knoe
boy: do u trust mi
girl:yea of course
boy: how much
girl: as mush as i trust everyone else
boy: but u dont trust anyone else
girl: dude hi-5,im glad u got my point

"Some say that girls like a**h**es. This is untrue. Girls like guys and it's just that the majority of them are a**h**es."

My friend got arrested for possesion of an offensive face.

I love you
you love me
but were not together as i can c
I wish we were but
wer f$%^ing not
ill go suc sumone elses C*&^k

Secret admirer:
a stalker with stationary.

I have no idea what you just said, but you looked cute saying it.

Mr. Right is coming. But his plane crashed in Africa and he's walking.

Friend: What are you gunna do if you see him?
girl: Fall over dead more than likely.
friend: Well what will you do if he comes over and talks to you?
girl: I'd become fluent in speaking retard